More High School

When I was in high school and in the band , the flags and rifles had some really funny people as members. But the gross humor was always done by the lower brass or the percussion section. ALWAYS!
I remember one afternoon at practice we had been having problems with certain members of the band because they decided they wanted to have a little bit of fun, like speeding up the tempo or running into other people.
The drum major, who I'll call "Tony Shelton", was so mad because the band director was not at practice that afternoon, and no one would do what he ordered them to do. So he said that since nobody would behave, we would stand at attention for a while to get our focus back. So he called Attention! And everyone got quiet. And then one of the drummers farted. We all knew who did it (Dana), but "Tony" did not. He was so mad but he had long since lost control. Finally we just ended practice with "Tony" pouting.

On other days, when we had practice, our band director, who I'll call "Mr. Williams", was such a butthead, everyone knew not to mess with him. So when he would tell us to 'break off into sectionals', it meant we were to separate into groups (which we promptly re-named SEXUALS) to work on our own parts of the show. We would stand around as long as we could without him yelling at us from the tower of the stadium to get our butts in gear.

I have always been a defiant gal, (I know, it's hard for you to believe), and "Mr. Williams" and I got into our share of scuffles. I had very thick long hair, and we wore a cowboy hat with one side turned up. It was impossible for me to get my hair in the hat, which we were supposed to do. Finally we had to settle on a braid down my back, which I tucked down the back of my shirt during the show. "Mr. Williams" was an asshole.
So when we went to competitions, after we performed, we always had to wait in a very long line for a very long time to get our portrait taken. We were always ordered to look mean and tough in the pictures. I refused to do that. In fact, in nearly every picture of the band in my senior yearbook shows me being the only one in the band (besides the majorettes) with a great big smile. Oh, and I taught CeCe how to be as bad as me in this area. (see above picture)

Yes, I got in trouble for it, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to be in a picture and not smile. That would have been silly.

"Mr. Williams" hated me.

I loved being in the band and automatically having a place to sit at pep rallies, which they don't even have anymore. We used to have them for every home game, and they were so much fun.
During homecoming week, the Y-club (I have no idea what the Y meant, or what the club was about) would take up money in jars for some reason…I don't remember it being for a charity, but I can't for the life of me remember what it was for. ANYWAY, the Y-club would take up money during the week, and then at the pep rally, the seniors got to be on the gym floor in front of everyone to pull out these colored paper chains, the longest chain being for the class who raised the most money. The seniors were the only ones who got to participate in this honor, and that is the only reason I even joined the club.
I took up money. I pulled the giant chain out of the bag. And then I went back into the balcony, where the band sat. And I was so cool. Until I saw my picture in the yearbook. My 'friend', who I'll call "Tracey Collins" put her shoe over my head so it looks like she's standing on my head. Oh how nice.
I wanted to murderize her. Notice that she's got all of these letters and patches on her letter jacket. She was only supposed to have the flags on there, but the manufacturer mistakenly added the achievements of the drum major (who also lettered in tennis, among other things, and was the valedictorian of our class), so she had an interesting jacket.

I also learned many practical jokes from being in the band. One was very immature…okay, they ALL were immature…but we would stick maxi pads on people when they didn't know it and they would walk around with it stuck to their backs or their butts until somebody (ratted) notified them.
One day, CeCe and I were going somewhere with Robbie Moseley and someone else (I forget who). We had done the maxi pad thing to death so we would have to check our entire bodies for one after getting out of the car. We finally said we were calling a truce and nobody would do it to anyone else. And we promised. And then Robbie got out to pump gas in the car and with lightning speed, CeCe stuck a maxi pad on his back. I swear, I think I peed my pants, I was laughing so hard. And he was PISSED when he found out. So, of course, we made another truce. Absolutely. We promised…
I think our worst maxi pad 'event' was when we went to the Kroger in Lawrenceville where "Tony Shelton" worked. His car was parked in the lot in a way that he would only see the driver's side when he got off work and went to his car to leave. So we stuck maxi pads ALL OVER the passenger side of the car. Unfortunately we never got to see the reaction to the joke but I hope he rode around for days before anyone told him.
Unfortunately for ME, later that night, CeCe put a maxi pad on the passenger door of MY CAR. Since I parked so I only saw the driver's side of the car, I drove all the way to work with it stuck on the dark blue door. When I arrived, a co-worker was laughing and she asked me what that was on my door. Well, I had to walk past it to get in the building and I saw it (and wanted to kill her). I peeled it off, rolled it up, and put it in my trash can at work, thinking it would go out with the rest of the trash when the cleaning crew came that night. The next day, though, when I got to work, the sticky stuff on it made it stick to the trash bag. I didn't know that the cleaning crew just poured the trash into a larger can and left the bag in the individual cans. So I'm sure they saw that in my office and probably thought I was just nasty. I swear, I want to kill her again, just thinking about it!
SO I ended up diving into the trash can, getting the thing out, wrapping it in a tissue, and then putting it in a piece of paper and wadding the whole thing up.
My co-workers caught on, though, and I remember one day when a girl stuck one on the warehouse manager's back. Everyone was laughing so hard but trying not to. He even came to my desk and asked what everyone was laughing about. I had tears streaming down my face and couldn't even speak. He wore that on his shirt for about an hour. He even went over to the regional office to talk to the VP there, and nobody over there told him. I don't remember how he finally found out, but when he did, there was hell to pay. He was PISSED. I thought he was going to have a stroke, he was so mad. It still makes me laugh, though.
And that reminds me of another stupid thing 'we' did...one day when CeCe was working at our video game store, she asked me to go purchase some 'personal items' for her. I went to the drugstore, but when I got back, she was flirting with some guy so I took the item out of the bag ,walked up to the counter ,and handed her the box of tampons, saying, "Here's what you said you needed. I got back as fast as I could." If looks could kill....
I'll go ahead and say it so you don't have to… I'm so juvenile. But it suits me so well.