Sports

The other day I passed a yard full of people playing volleyball. They looked to be having a large time, though I cannot understand why. I have ALWAYS hated volleyball. For one thing, it is really rough on the nails, but I can't even honestly say that's the reason I hate it. I SUCK AT VOLLEYBALL!
When I was younger, I went to a cookout at a friend's house. Unfortunately we had to play volleyball. I have never even been able to get a serve over the net, much less hit one that was knocked over by the other team. In fact, at this very picnic, when it was my turn to serve I did such a poor job of it, I hit the guy standing in front of me in the back of his head. Fortunately it was just someone I'll call 'Tony Shelton'. You may remember the 'pseudonym' from another 'story'. Yes, it was the same guy and I could not stand him. Although I didn't mean to hit him with the volleyball, it all worked out in the end (for me).
Actually, if truth be told, the ONLY part of volleyball that I've ever liked is when the ball is turned over to the other team and everyone shouts, "ROTATE!" and you take a couple of steps over or back. Hey, I never claimed to be an athlete but I did admit to being immature!
One year, CeCe and I decided we would learn how to play tennis. We got tennis rackets and balls and went to the city park where the lake is (can't remember if that's East or West) to hone our craft. We spent nearly the entire time, though, having to go outside of the courts to retrieve the balls that we hit over the 20 foot tall fence. That got old very fast. So we gave up tennis. We never figured out what the numbers for the score meant, anyway.
Now bowling proved to be something for which we were mediocre. In fact, I once bowled a 200. These were our drinking days, though, and we would spend much of the lane time 'stunt bowling'. We were called out to stop walking on the lane or throwing the ball so it didn't hit the lane until halfway down. Stupid stuff like that. It seemed fun at the time. Now it doesn't really. I think if I picked up a bowling ball and actually threw it, my arm might break off with the ball still attached to my fingers, or my back would just go ahead and crush itself. And it used to be funny when we would fall during our 'stunt bowling', but I think if I did that now I'd have to leave the bowling alley in an ambulance. It sucks getting old.
I did play softball for many years, but finally had to give that up, too, because I REALLY sucked at that, and would get my feelings hurt when I was taken out of a game. The only part of softball that I was good at was throwing. I could throw so hard you could hear the wind on the ball as it flew through the air. Running? Terrible. Batting? Sucker for high and inside (which ALWAYS got me out!) Fielding the ball? So-so. More bad than good. I LOVED it when we played against First Methodist in Lawrenceville (I think that was the team) because my shorthand teacher was on that team. Since we were playing ball, I made sure to call her Ethel (her real name) about a hundred times a game. Ethel this and Ethel that. She didn't like it much, but I loved it and that's what really matters, right?
When Trey played T-ball his second time years ago, I agreed to coach the team since no one else would. I finally had to beg some of the dads to take over the batting practice after hitting so many of the kids with the ball and making them cry. I was afraid they would all quit on me! So I gave up all of my duties except for being first base coach. I LOVED doing that, even though my 'advice' was ALWAYS the same...RUN TO SECOND! The other teams were never prepared for it, and even though we did it every time, they never EVER got us out. Maybe that was sortof mean, but it sure was fun!
My only other experience with sports was when I was a senior in high school. I signed up with my friends to take a soccer class with the soccer team. I'm sure it's obvious why we signed up. We had no intention of actually PLAYING soccer. We just thought it would be an easy class that we could ace, and since the whole soccer team was in the class, we knew it was gonna be lots of fun. Until the first day of class. Our teacher, who we called, 'Slutty' made us run a whole mile first thing. Before we did any soccer stuff. And then she actually made us learn how to play soccer and we had to *gasp* take tests on the RULES of soccer! How dare she?!
And THEN it got worse....she made us play soccer against the soccer team every day. After our mile run. I am convinced that the only reason I passed the class was because I dressed out every day. Those were the days of the Sports Palace in Lawrenceville, and I had some pretty sweet sweats to wear to class...all color coordinated, of course. So I was going to dress out.
I have to admit that the only thing I learned in soccer class is that you don't kick the ball with the toe of your shoe. You use the side of your foot. I have no idea why. Maybe that was covered in class. I don't know. It could have been that day when 'Katie' and I skipped class to go to Northlake Mall to shop for prom dresses. Whatever.
I had hoped my son would not take after me in my non-sports-talent, but it wasn't to be so. He hates sports, even though he played soccer, t-ball twice, basketball, and football (that one didn't last very long). Oh, well. At least he tried. I remember at one of his field days at elementary school and one of his events was doing the hula hoop, which is another of my non-skills. He was pretty good at it. I have never been able to do it. I even have one that I got at the dollar store in my car. I'm going to have to watch some youtube videos to see if I can figure out what I'm doing wrong. This could help my core muscles, which could help my back.
My son's greatest skill, sports-wise, is shooting. He is an excellent shot, and was on the air rifle team at North Gwinnett. I was and am so proud of him. His interest in shooting has led him to working as a loss prevention officer at two different stores right now. He was working at one store but they laid off the entire department. A month later they called him back, so he works there about once a week so he can still get the discount. His full-time job is at another store at Lakeshore Mall. While I'm not thrilled about him working in that area, this is something he is great at and he loves it. He eventually wants to be a police officer, and although I don't want this career for him, I know he will be very good at it.
Back to the sports...I own a pair of tap shoes. The kind that are patent leather with the big ribbon bow on them. I wish to take tap dancing lessons, hoping it might help me with my weight and my coordination since I fall a LOT. Never fear. I will be sure and invite you all to my first recital! Maybe this will be THE THING I'm finally good at!!!!
I do like baseball, as long as I don't have to be the one playing it. Used to love Brett Butler, Dale Murphy, Claudell Washington, Brad Komminsk, David Justice, Sid Bream, Otis Nixon...too many to list. Will never forget the game in 1984 against the Padres, when the benches emptied about 10 times, and finally the umpires only allowed the players who were in the game at that moment on the field or in the dugout. The rest were banned to the clubhouse. All because the Padres kept beaning Pascual Perez. So he HAD to reciprocate. It's just a given. But it never stopped. Was a very exciting game with lots of punches thrown and lots of players and managers ejected from the game. I think Joe Torre was the coach back then.
That reminds me...didn't you just despise Bobby Valentine? I know he was with the Mets, but I hated even seeing his jerk face ANY TIME on tv. I heard he's happy in Japan. Good for him, though I have no idea how a man who doesn't speak Japanese can effectively coach a team of men who don't speak English. He's just a big old jerk, though, so I guess this is his Siberia.